During the past few months I have not really felt like myself, but I could not put my finger on it. I have developed a couple of health issues and at times I would just pass off how I was feeling to the condition or the side effects of the medicine. As time went on, I started to think there was something that the God needed to show me but I didn’t see anything. I felt clear and didn’t sense there were any issues, but I continued to ask in prayer on a regular basis for Him to put His finger on it if I needed to see something, or if there was something in my life that He was not happy with.
A couple of weeks ago my wife and I had an opportunity to get away for the weekend which was desperately needed. I work way too much, but that is another story. We headed out of town to attend a few church services and spend some time with friends that we normally don’t get to see. In today’s terms you would refer to this as a church conference…in the past, they referred to them as a camp meeting. Because of work I was not able to take off the time I was planning on, but we were able to get out of town for the weekend. The stress was mounting up and I could feel myself being frustrated and agitated. When we left I was really hoping for some answers to how I was feeling. I was praying for God to reveal something to me…just show me what You would have me to see. Even though the messages were encouraging and uplifting, the fellowship was enjoyable, I still left for home with not having an answer.
As I started the work week last week, I was still feeling a bit irritable. I was in constant prayer to ask God to help with my words, actions, and deeds but unfortunately I failed Him. During the week there were a few situations that were trying and I failed by lashing out during a situation when I should have taken a step back to look at the big picture. The pressure had got to me and I didn’t respond in a Christ-like fashion. The end result was that I hurt people that I work with, and needed to ask for their forgiveness. They were very gracious and extended their forgiveness and I am very thankful for that. There was reconciliation. During the next 24 hours, a couple of other situations arose that it just seemed like the devil was using people to constantly wear on me…I will refer to this as “sandpaper”, a topic for another day. God was allowing this to happen in order to prepare me for what was about to happen. God was about to put His finger on what I had been asking for, but He knew that before this day, I was not ready for it. Oh the mercy, and grace, that our Lord and Savior extends is overwhelming. I am so thankful that His timing is perfect and He sees our lives through a wide angle lens where we use a narrow lens.
What He was about to show me was not something that I was expecting. It wasn’t something that I had done, or someone I had wronged or offended…it was that I needed to forgive wrongs, that in my heart had been done to me. This had never entered my mind before, and I had not seen this side of forgiveness. Jesus was about to use Dr. Bubb to answer my prayer.
You see, forgiveness has multiple sides. The first side is where we need to ask for forgiveness, and the opposite side is for us to forgive when someone asks us for forgiveness. It is at this time when the relationship is reconciled and healing begins to take place. What I learned today is there is another side to forgiveness. We need to forgive even when we are not asked for forgiveness. As Dr. Bubb was explaining this, I began to see what had been happening to me over time. A seed had started when I was wronged that took root because I failed to see the need to forgive. My concept of forgiveness was only that we ask or extend forgiveness…I had never thought about the need to forgive when it wasn’t requested, but now I see. Jesus warns us of this in His Word about allowing seeds to take root. Hebrews 12:14-15 “14 Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;”
It was then a light turned on, this is what Jesus did for me! He forgave me for my sins before I had ever sought to ask Him for forgiveness. He went to the cross for each of us that we may have forgiveness for our sins if we will only believe. 1st Peter 2:21-24 “21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22 who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.” He is our example and by striving for Christ to be seen in our lives we must follow His example and be a reflection of Him.
God had answered my prayer; He had made it clear what I needed to do. It was at that time that I knelt and thanked God for showing me, for being gentle, for answering my prayers. I then proceeded to forgive the wrongs that had been done to me, and ask Him to help me if the thoughts of the past wrongs come back. That feeling that I had of being a “little off” was gone, I felt a gentle calmness.
Some of you might be wondering why I am sharing such a personal situation with you and to the Internet world. It is because I felt prompted to open my heart and share this, that it might resonate with someone else…that maybe even you have never thought of this type of forgiveness. Maybe you are currently dealing with this exact same type of situation. I want to encourage you to not let a “seed” take root. Don’t stuff it and think it will go away, it won’t. Don’t try and rationalize the situation that, “they didn’t ask for forgiveness.” This only allows the roots of the “seed” to go deeper.
In life we are wronged and we are hurt…we also can be the cause of someone being wronged or hurt. Forgiveness is the only answer whether we are asking or giving…even if the other person is not requesting forgiveness we need to forgive.
It is not easy, I know all too well, but I want you to know that it is worth it.
Knowing Jesus is worth it. He is the answer to life.
God Bless,
Rick